"Manning" down

We have discussed many times in class that women are choosing to start families later in life. Whether or not the "when" is a woman's “choice” is debatable. But what is becoming more and more apparent is that men, too, are starting families later in life. Later than decades past. So what becomes of 20-somethings if they aren’t settling down and starting families? Numbers would suggest that due to the increase of women enrolled in and graduating, from college and other institutions of higher education, women are busy working. Not to say that 20-something men aren’t working, but what they aren’t doing, is maturing.

When it comes to 20-something men, women tend to have quite a few things to say. But 20-something women aren’t the only ones with criticism of our male peers. There appears to be a growing concern with what some call a “delayed adulthood.” Most of the chatter over the condition revolves around what we’ve already discussed: marriage and children. The mean age for first marriages amongst men is rising. That might not be such a bad thing, especially if it leads to less divorce. But what else might it mean?

One author, Kay Hymowitz, whose book, Manning Up: How the Rise of Women Has Turned Men Into Boys, suggests that a combination of social factors has given rise to a “pre-adulthood” for young men. As the title of her book suggests, she believes that because more women have sought higher education and entered traditionally male-dominated professions, boys are delaying entering manhood. This generation of 20-something men, she explains, enjoy more recreational time, exhibit a general lack of desire to get hitched, and have a tendency to shirk adult “responsibilities.” I do think it important to note that the “responsibilities” to which Hymowitz refers are based on very traditional notions of male and female roles. Regardless, her theory raises many questions.

I first read one of Hymowitz’s articles last year, in the Wall Street Journal. One of her concerns is that young professional women are going to have fewer choices for mates because 20-something men would rather play video games than have meaningful relationships. I do not necessarily disagree with Hymowitz (I have enough 20-something male friends to know that some of them have a deeper emotional connection with their Fantasy Football team than the women they date). What interests me more is her hypothesis that women’s professional success in the last few decades is what has led to a generation of male pre-adults.

I was having dinner with my mother and stepfather last weekend, and my stepfather mentioned that there has been an increase of female professionals in his line of business (he is a real estate developer). He noted that female project managers are becoming more common on large construction sites. Additionally, some of his professional peers have suggested that the reason that young female professionals are becoming more common is that they are “better” at what they do. He explained that in recent conversations with colleagues, there is a growing consensus that young men, especially recent graduates, are less responsible and competent than young female graduates.

This sentiment may very well be limited to my stepfather’s and his colleagues’ experience, but I started to think that there must be something else there. Hymowitz suggests that it is because of women’s success that young men are delaying adulthood. But I wonder if it’s not more intertwined than that. Women’s professional success may have created a generation of “boyish” men, but how has a generation of "pre-adults" then turned around and affected women? I would argue that, perhaps, it’s been a benefit to 20-something professional women. If what my stepfather said about female versus male graduates in the construction field is accurate, then it would seem that 20-something women may be looking at even greater professional success in other areas of business.