Wednesday, March 20, 2019

Notes on The Bachelor, Part 2: Justice for Tayshia

Congratulations, friends! We've made it through another season where the titular "Bachelor" decided to forgo choosing a woman who loved him or was actually ready for marriage, and instead chose the blonde he thought was hottest, despite the fact that she lacked the aforementioned qualities and maybe just liked being on reality shows. As much fun as that phenomenon is to dissect, this post is dedicated to another one of The Bachelor's many problems: Race.

For those who have not kept up with this riveting season, here is a quick recap of what truly may have been the most dramatic ending ever. As even those who don't watch the show know, Colton jumped a fence in a fit of emotion. We were teased with this fence jump all season, and it became somewhat of a running joke on social media each Monday night as we all anxiously awaited Colton's reasoning. Well, it turns out that his reason was Cassie Randolph. After about 5 other women warned Colton that Cassie might not be "ready for marriage," it turned out that Cassie was in fact, not ready to get engaged at the end of the show. Colton pleaded for her to stay and told her he was going to choose her, she stood her ground, he went back to his hotel to sulk, but soon left and gave Bachelor Nation what it had been waiting for all season.  After calming down, he decided that Cassie was still the one, and he would fight for her. But first, he needed to dump his two remaining ladies - Tayshia and Hannah G. (Cassie eventually acquiesced to Colton's pleas for a second chance, and now they are happily dating, I guess?)

Both Cassie and Hannah G. are very typical of women that make it to the final three on The Bachelor - pretty, blonde, thin, honestly somewhat innocuous. Tayshia, however, is black. Black women, as well as other women of color, do not typically fare well on this series. Sure, most of time, they aren't all eliminated on night one. But Tayshia's place in the final three women is only the second time out of 23 seasons where a black woman has made it that far. Further, no black woman has ever progressed past the final 3. This can likely be attributed to a lack of diversity in the cast generally, as well as the implicit biases of the Bachelor(ette)s themselves. As a woman of color, I like to root for the non-white contestants, even knowing their chances of winning the show are slim, and that is easy to do when given contestants like Tayshia. I didn't expect Tayshia to win, but there are two things about the way her storyline ended that trouble me: 1) the way she felt she needed to handle herself when Colton broke up with her and; 2) that she wasn't chosen to be the next Bachelorette.

Tayshia's trajectory on the show was typical of a frontrunner. She went bungee-jumping on her first date with Colton, and he seemed to genuinely like her and want to spend time with her. Tayshia seemed smart, down to earth, and sincere. She stayed out of drama for most of the season, until she felt she needed to warn Colton about Cassie's intentions. (After that episode, there was some backlash against her, though she was vindicated in the end when Cassie tried to quit the show.)  When confronted by Caelynn, she stayed calm and did not resort to name calling. Caelynn on the other hand felt entitled to swear, and even called Tayshia a "stupid bitch" in an interview with a producer. Tayshia likely felt that she could not do either, lest she embody the problematic reality television trope of the "angry black woman." She kept her cool again when Colton blindsided her with the news he was breaking up with her for Cassie. In fact, at least from what we saw, she seemed to be the one comforting him (at 4:09) - a really annoying phenomenon many straight women have experienced. She kept her composure through her meeting with Colton at the finale as well, and she was lauded in the comments sections of YouTube videos as well as other social media sites as being "classy," "beautiful," and "too good for Colton." Hannah G. was much more confrontational with Colton, choosing to use both the break-up itself and the interview at the finale to ask the questions she needed to gain closure, and was firm about making her disappointment in him known. She too, was showered with praise and similarly told by the internet that she was "too good for Colton." Hannah G. was pretty quiet this season - we didn't get a lot from her substantively, as the edit was focused on her and Colton's physical chemistry. However, in the final two episodes she came out, guns blazing. She didn't have to worry whether she would be branded aggressive, she could talk to Colton as indignantly as she felt the situation warranted. Tayshia didn't have that luxury, which, given the situation, feels unfair to her.

As much as the ladies this season spent a lot of time questioning the other girls' motive for coming on the show, every season of this franchise is an audition for the next Bachelor(ette) and Bachelor in Paradise. As long as a contestant is somewhat interesting or memorable (in the broadest possible terms), they will end up on Bachelor in Paradise. That is not a bad thing - from just four seasons, two couples are married with kids, and at least three more are still in committed relationships. As such, BiP actually has a pretty good track record.  Still, if it doesn't seem like a contestant is going to win, you can bet one of their other goals is to be the new Bachelor(ette). The title position is typically chosen from the previous season's final 4 men or women. Thus, this year's pool of eligible women should have been: Caelynn, Tayshia, and Hannah G. Instead, the powers that be chose Hannah B., who finished in 7th place, who while sometimes delightful enough, seemed to struggle at times in front of the camera. Caelynn was implicated in the Cassie "not here for the right reasons" drama, and, as mentioned before, we didn't see enough of Hannah G's personality to imagine her carrying a show. So what about Tayshia? The last time that a black woman, Rachel Lindsay made it this far on the Bachelor, she was chosen as the Bachelorette. I thought it was an enjoyable season - Lindsay is smart, vibrant, and was not afraid to ask the men (a few) difficult questions about race, and they brought in more men of color for the occasion. The franchise appears to like Lindsay, but given another opportunity to produce another season with a black woman in the lead role, they balked and chose a woman who finished in 7th place. ABC seems to have felt they have done enough with respect to diversity and race when it cast Lindsay in the role, but it appears to be hesitant to cast a another person of color.

In conclusion, ABC missed an opportunity to cast another black woman as the Bachelorette, despite how carefully she policed herself on the show. At least we'll be seeing her again in Paradise!

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Lauren,

Thank you for sharing another enjoyable post about the Bachelor! It is disheartening to continue to see shows like the Bachelor promulgate the “white, thin, blonde hair, blue eyed” ideal despite contestants of color leaving a last impact on viewers. It makes me wonder what it will take for contestants of color to ever receive continuous limelight on shows of such widespread prominence. Personally, it seems like until people openly come out and challenge the status quo or abandon the show altogether, it is unlikely shows like the Bachelor will implement widespread change. In addition, it is hard to motivate people of color to come out and be on shows like this in the first place to challenge the status quo if they know that it is inevitable that they will be sidelined or voted off.

I really appreciate your insight on Tayshia comforted Colton even though he was the one breaking up with her to be with another woman. The racial and gender undertones in this interaction are extremely troubling. I often find that women of color in particular are expected to be understanding and bear the emotional burden in interactions they have with white men. It appears that traditional male ideals of associating women with emotion and subordination continue to plague modern day relationships and I wonder what role film, television, and other media outlets can play in dispelling these problematic notions.

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Anonymous said...

I'm very frustrated with the Bachelor producers. They had the opportunity to cast the second woman of color as the next Bachelorette and instead went for the "safe choice" - Hannah B. Tayshia's exit was the epitome of class, grace, and emotional intelligence. It is disappointing that she was not considered a serious contender for the position.

With every season of The Bachelor and Bachelorette, I hope that a contestant of color will either win or become the protagonist for the show, but it almost never happens. Not only do a majority of the contestants (and the winners) fit the fair-skinned, blonde, blue-eyed "ideal", but are predominantly given screen time. Contestants of color are relegated to the sidelines and are viewed as token contestants who are likely going to be voted off in the coming weeks. The Bachelor producers had the opportunity to break the status quo but chose to continue and reinforce it.

sdgrewe said...

Thank you for writing about this! I watched the episode with friends and we were all up in arms about how ridiculous and unfair it was that Tayshia was consoling Colton as he dumped her. Seriously, the audacity of this man [eyeroll emoji]. You’re right about the burden of comforting men unfairly being put on women, and especially women of color, constantly having to police their own emotional expressions so as not to appear “crazy.”

In addition to noting the emotional labor aspect, I felt like there were undertones of emotional manipulation in how Colton treated both Tayshia and Cassie. First, pursuing Cassie after being rejected and badgering her until she agreed to date him sends a problematic message about consent (i.e. if at first you don’t succeed, throw a tantrum). Second, he completely played the victim when he was the one hurting Tayshia’s feelings, forcing her to pander to him. It reminded me of someone I dated who would use guilt and tears as a manipulation tactic, derailing conversations about my concerns until I inevitably ended up apologizing and a little confused. This is a scary and toxic behavior, and it was upsetting to see it romanticized on the show. Let’s be real, they all deserve better than Colton.

Kim said...

Thank you for writing about this season! Nearing the finale I was definitely betting that Tayshia was going to be the next Bachelorette. Apparently rather than just consider the final three contestants, the producers considered five women. https://www.eonline.com/news/1023579/here-s-who-would-ve-been-the-bachelorette-if-it-wasn-t-hannah-brown Only one of the five is a person of color - Tayshia.

I agree with you that Tayshia would have been a great bachelorette. She would have asked interesting questions of the contestants and expected more of them than I think Hannah B will. When asked what the Bachelorette would have been like with her as the star instead of Hannah, Tayshia said: "I might be more tough on the guys, in the sense I’d need them to stand up a little bit more than Hannah. She’s pretty fun and doesn’t take herself too seriously all the time. The guys would definitely have to be much older, I’d tell you that much. I require a little bit more life experience, someone who really knows who they are and still aren’t trying to figure themselves out. Show up, or get out. No bullshit, let’s go, I’m trying to find a husband!" https://www.vulture.com/2019/03/the-bachelor-tayshia-adams-interview.html

It's obvious what from this interview and simply from watching the show - The Bachelor doesn't want us, or doesn't think we want to, be challenged or forced to think critically in any way.

Anonymous said...

Hi Lauren,

Amazing post as always. I did not watch the last couple of episodes because: 1) if they said the word virgin again, I was going to lose it; and 2) I was literally just waiting for Colton to hop that fence, and it seemed liked that was never going to happen. Anyways, why that is important is that, when there are 20 white women who have very similar personalities (or at least television personalities/producer personalities) and similar or the same names, I get them mixed up. When I had read that a Hannah had won, I assumed it was the Hannah that was left. I had no idea it was 7th place Hannah. Like I cannot remember the last time they went that low in the season to get a person.

I totally agree with you about the double standard for women of color as well. Women of color have to be twice as composed and thoughtful on reality television shows, because the second they aren't, the producers swoop in with the "here is the villain" scores in the background and then everyone hates them. Whereas there have been a plethora of white contestants who have been treated way differently.

And not that this is an excuse, but I wonder if it is the main audience they are trying to cater to. If I remember correctly, most of the viewers are white and live in the middle of the country. Maybe they are just playing up to that and having them see people that look like them fall in love. While not an excuse, it would explain why we have had like 20-some bachelors/bachelorettes and only 2-3 people of color in the position (pretty sure it has been one Bachelor and one Bachelorette). Anyway, just food for thought.

Again, great post!