Wednesday, April 3, 2019

The daily reality of street harassment

I remember getting ready to meet my friend at IHOP for National Pancake Day – an annual tradition. In preparation for our free short stack, I wore my favorite V-neck sweater and painted my lips cherry red. Red lipstick has always been my take-on-the-world shade, and you know what – I was ready to take on the world. As I was walking up to our neighborhood IHOP, a man stopped his car, honked at me, and yelled “damn girl, you look so fine right now. I wish you were mine. Mmm mm mm.” At that moment, I froze. I went from feeling confident and free to feeling violated and small.

This example of an unsolicited "compliment" by a stranger in a public place is a form of sexual harassment known as street harassment. Street harassment has been defined as:
[U]nwanted comments, gestures, and actions forced on a stranger in a public place without their consent and is directed at them because of their actual or perceived sex, gender, gender expression, or sexual orientation. Street harassment includes unwanted whistling, leering, sexist, homophobic or transphobic slurs, persistent requests for someone’s name, number or destination after they’ve said no, sexual names, comments and demands, following, flashing, public masturbation, groping, sexual assault, and rape.
Street harassment is a pervasive and prevalent norm in culture. One report found that sixty-five percent of women and twenty-five percent of men have experienced street harassment at least once in their lifetime. To illustrate the extent of this phenomena, Shoshana Roberts conducted a social experiment by recording herself walking the streets of New York for ten hours. During her experiment, she was subjected to over 100 instances of street harassment. Noa Jansma created the  #DearCatCallers Instagram handle. On this account, she took a selfie with men who catcalled her. The juxtaposition of her expressionless face with the faces of her jubilant harassers was astonishing. Not only were the men willing to take a picture with her, but they were proud and unashamed of their actions because, to them, they were "harmlessly" asserting their masculinity through compliments.

These "compliments" have serious social and psychological ramifications. First, this form of harassment exemplifies dominance feminism and the male gaze reinforcing societal power dynamics of the patriarchy.
The 'male gaze' invokes the sexual politics of the gaze and suggests a sexualised way of looking that empowers men and objectifies women. In the male gaze, [the] woman is visually positioned as an 'object' of heterosexual male desire. Her feelings, thoughts and her own sexual drives are less important than her being 'framed' by male desire.
When women are catcalled, they are reduced to being viewed as sexual objects. Their utility in society is based on what men find pleasurable about women - their bodies. Research shows that this type of objectification can not only affect our dignity as human beings but also undermines the psychological wellbeing of those on the receiving end of a catcall. One study found that street harassment was related to self-objectification, depression, and eating disorders.

While there is evidence of the negative impact street harassment, the onus for avoiding this type of harassment has been put on the victim - not the perpetrator. This is one of the key reasons why street harassment has been found to be a part of rape culture. For example, "on the spectrum of violence against people it becomes clear that people are meant to police and control different areas of their lives to avoid becoming a victim or target." Instead of socializing harassers to stop their boorish and harmful behavior, victims are told to adjust their behavior in a variety of different ways, whether it be by dressing differently or drinking little to no alcohol in public places.

I remember the moment after the catcalling incident at IHOP, I went back to my car and pulled out a scarf to cover myself and wiped off my lipstick. I was socialized to blame myself for the harassment and believe that if I had worn something demure, I would not have been catcalled.

A few weeks later, I shared my story with a friend - a Muslim woman who typically wears a headscarf and an abaya (a robe-like dress) when she goes out. She shared the number of times men would approach her and tell her they were fantasizing what was under her abaya. Thus, it seems that no matter what types of "precautions" women are told to take, no one is immune from street harassment.

As a previous blogger on this forum stated, a woman's appearance is not an excuse to sexually harass her. 
These character judgments about women based on their appearance are harmful especially for young girls who grow up internalizing these messages. What is even worse is that the perception of women as sluts is used to blame victims of sexual abuse, commonly known as victim blaming.
Because street harassment in the form of catcalling has been such a commonplace experience, some cities and countries around the world have worked to make catcalling a fineable offense. For example, the British county of Nottinghamshire has classified catcalling as a hate crime. While there are exciting developments across the globe to legislatively combat street harassment in the form of catcalling, the United States has been slow to follow. Because most hate speech and offensive language is protected by the First Amendment, there is an argument that it may be very difficult to legislatively curb catcalling as it can chill speech and may be difficult to administer.

I am not sure what the best way to combat street harassment if the law is not by our side. While some women push back against the harassers, others ignore the provocation for safety reasons. What I do know is that the next time this happens (and it will happen), I will not blame myself. I will see catcalling for what it is: sexual harassment used to assert power and patriarchal norms to the detriment of women. 

2 comments:

Taylor Foland said...

Hi Nimra,

Your post reminded me of an experience I had recently. I was out to dinner with three males, two which I knew quite well and the third I had never met and knew nothing about. It became pretty clear through conversation that the third male, let's call him "Brad", was not very sensitive to gender equality.

A group of girls dressed in cute dresses and matching fur coats walked by. The group was celebrating their friend's wedding. It was a classic bachelorette party and the girls were hopping from one bar to the next. As they passed us, Brad yelled out to them something about looking good and where could he find them later. The women laughed it off, retorted with a bit of a flirt and then left. I was furious.

I had held my tongue throughout the dinner but finally addressed Brad's behaviour. I was really scared to - he was under the influence of alcohol, was much bigger than me or either of the other two men I was with, and had displayed aggressive behaviours throughout the night. All I could manage to say was, "Really? There was no need for that. Your comments weren't as flattering as you think". He then started making fun of me for using the word "flattering". "Flattering? Psh, I wasn't trying to be flattering," he laughed.

Here are a few things your post made me think about this situation:
(1) The girls' responses, while men probably take them as encouragement, are actually an example of a typical female defense move. Sometimes it is safer to gently appease cat callers, especially at night, rather than anger them with a witty retort. I am not joking when I say that I am afraid of men when they catcall me. Often times cat calling occurs when women are alone and in vulnerable positions. It can be hard to respond wittily or defiantly - although when I replay situations in my head I always think of the best responses.
(2) As a woman, I do not know how best to stand up to catcallers. In this situation, I wasn't even the one being catcalled, and yet I was still afraid - for them and for myself. I was fuming internally but I froze on the outside. How can I more effectively respond in these situations? How do you stand up for women when you are afraid to do so?
(3) Holy moly what in the world were the two other males doing during this exchange?? Male allies, this is precisely where we need you to show up! Risk your weird masculine pride and tell your friends what they are doing is not okay! It is appropriate for you to speak up! That is not to say you should always be speaking for women, but when it is unsafe for women to do so, by all means put yourself into the ring.

Anika Nayyar said...

Nimra,

Thank you for sharing this extremely relatable and powerful post. This post reminded me of a cat-calling experience I faced in San Francisco. It was about 9:30 PM on a Saturday night. My childhood female friend and I were walking to a gala we were about to attend. We were both dressed in short, but still relatively modest dresses since the dress code of the event was “dress to impress.” As we walked down the street, a car pulls up next to us. A young man rolls down the window and crassly shouts “Hey, what are you doing later tonight pretty mamas. Come take a ride with us.”

Both my friend and I were disgusted and taken aback. Shame and fear were the two emotions we instantly experienced. Fear may be justified, given the nature of the situation involving a stranger and somewhat aggressive comments.

But I wondered, why should I feel shame? Why should I feel shame for wearing an outfit of my choosing? Why should I hold myself back just to prevent instances like this when it is acceptable for men to “walk around shirtless” and often not be subject to such egregious behavior?

It reminds me of the how important it is for mothers raising sons to teach them how to respect women from an early age. The burden should not rest with women on curtailing how they dress. Imposing pressure on women to alter their dress sense feels like our society is putting the blame on victim, rather than the perpetrator of this behavior. Dress is a form of personal expression and identity. The last thing a woman should be worrying about is objectification and harassment because of it.

I find myself often entangled in the same dilemma you mentioned of determining what are the best tactics to combat street harassment. I completely agree with your notion that we as women should not blame ourselves for the actions of others. Along those lines, I also believe we as women do not hold the responsibility to alter our behavior. The perpetrators of this egregious behavior must change their ways. I believe the most effective way to enact this change is through familial and pedagogical teaching of how to interact with women and the fine boundaries of those interactions. Only then can a society be created that truly values and respects women rather than treating them as subservient individuals.